Our second week at the resort began as all of the others, enjoying a relaxing breakfast watching Jessie and Alyssa. We all the next few days were a waiting period while Alyssa’s Vietnamese passport application was being processed so we actually we able to have a bit of a vacation in a wonderful setting.
Later in the morning, Jessie and Nancy went to the beach where they swam in the South China Sea and collected more shells. In the afternoon, Gracie came to play with Jessie in our room. It was fun to hear them as they pretended that they were a family who was adopting a new baby. Jessie was the mom and Gracie was the big sister. Emily, the doll, was the newly adopted little sister. Through their imaginary play, one could really see the impact that getting a baby sister was having on these two girls.
By now we were starting to learn more about Alyssa’s personality and habits. She was a very easy baby to care for, who loved to lie on the bed and look around the room. Her favorite position was flat on her back with her hands held high while she stared intently at them. She ‘talks’ a great deal, too. It’s very comforting to hear her cooing and burbling as it is clearly the sound of a contented child. And fortunately for us, Alyssa is a good sleeper. The sleep pattern that she exhibited on the first couple of nights we had her have continued. She generally wakes up once in the night for some food and then very calmly goes back to sleep. We couldn’t really ask for more.
Since Grandma Patsy’s room was adjacent to ours, Alyssa spent much time with her new grandma. Over the several days that we’d been waiting at the resort, we’ve been taking Alyssa to her grandma’s room, where she lies on the bed and then quietly falls asleep for her afternoon nap.
Later in the evening, the whole group got together to go to a local seafood restaurant. The restaurant that Thao had selected was a few kilometers up the coast from the resort so we drove for a while, taking advantage to see more parts of Phan Thiet. Along the way we stopped at some old temple ruins on a hill overlooking the city. The view was glorious in the early evening. You can see a couple of pictures here - Phan Thiet. We then journeyed on to the restaurant. Thao had clearly picked out the most popular seafood spot in town because when we arrived there were several large tour buses parked outside. Unfortunately, that meant there were no table available for the next 45 mintues.
So, we drove back along the coast until we found another seafood restaurant, which to me looked about the same as the first one. These restaurants were not ‘touristy’ at all, but instead were patronized by locat Vietnamese. The decor was plain, just long tables with paper covering the tables and plastic chairs. The restaurant was on a cliff overlooking the South China Sea coast with open windows. Of course, there was no air conditioning, which meant the restaurant was hot and sticky. A large open fish tank ran along the back side of the restaurant containing about any kind of live seafood a person could want. Crabs, eels, prawns, rock lobsters all mingled together in a giant jumble while smaller shrimp floated along the top of the water. Large spiny lobsters were in a separate tank as were some larger fish that appeared to be groupers. Needless to say, this restaurant had tremendous choices on the menu, as long as you wanted seafood.
As you can imagine, we had a feast of lobster, crabs and shrimp. Alyssa dozed off early on so I spent much of the time walking around the restaurant holding her while she slept. It gave me a chance to observe all of the activity in the fish tank, which was quite interesting. For some reason, the restaurant had a glider exercise machine like Suzanne Sommers used to hawk on late night TV sitting near the entrance. While the adults finished their meals, Jessie and Gracie had a great time playing on the glider under the watchful eye of the restaurant staff.
And so another day in sunny Phan Thiet came to an end.
On Sunday, after breakfast, we made the journey back to the Ham Tan Orphanage for the last time. Some of the members of the group had the wonderful idea that we could throw a picnic for kids at the orphanage so we were off to spend the day with them. We were a little concerned about how Alyssa’s caregiver would react. She had semed so sad when she said goodby to Alyssa on the previous Friday. But, Nyat was already caring for another little baby, a very tiny one week old boy. Of course, she was thrilled to see Alyssa again and insisted on holding her the entire time we were at the orphanage.
This day was more about the older kids at the orphanage than the babies. The first day we had barely noticed the older kids at the orphange, but their presence became more obvious each visit. You could also see a sadness in their faces when they saw us with our new babies. Clearly they were all thinking “Why not me?”
There are about 20 children at the orphanage, probably half are babies and toddlers, the rest being school aged, including several teenagers. None of them spoke much English, but many were studying English at school and actually understood much more English than they spoke. Interestingly, if you asked them a questions, they generally didn’t respond, but would ask you to write the question and then would respond in perfect English. It was clear that they were unable to understand our American accents, probably because their teachers spoke with a Vietnamese accent.
We had a wonderful time and a delightful picnic in the orphanage grounds. The older kids were thrilled to get so much attention. Both of the grandmothers who were with us were especially taken by some of the older orphans and were very interested in helping them. Thao mentioned that it was possible to sponsor a child through our adoption agency - The Adoption Center of Washington and that is what they plan to do. Anyone else reading this blog who would like to do the same can contact ACW via their website. We would certainly appreciate it if you would help this worthy cause. A couple of pictures of the orphanage are below. You can see more here - Ham Tan Orphanage.
One Wing of Ham Tan Orphanage
Tired from the long drive out and back to the orphanage, we all collapsed that evening and enjoyed an early evening before going to sleep. Alyssa continued to amaze us with her long periods of sleep in the night and her calm manner. She is a very easy baby to care for and a joy to be around.
It was a cheerful morning today as the families made their way into the hotel’s breakfast room. The hotel staff was all aware that we had new babies and they all came up to congratulate us and look at the new additions to our families. Everyone in the group was clearly much more relaxed even if a bit sleep deprived from the first night with their new children.
We lounged around eating a leisurely breakfast, watching Alyssa taking in all of the new sights and sounds. Today the several day wait for Alyssa’s passport began and since there was no more paperwork processing we could do until we had her passport, we had some time to sit back and enjoy being at a beautiful resort on the South China Sea.
Novotel Ocean Dunes Resort, Phan Thiet, Vietnam
Just as we finished breakfast, a pony appeared on the grass in front of the hotel. The resort was very kid friendly and since this was a holiday weekend and many families with children were at the hotel, the hotel recreational manager had arranged pony rides for children. Much to our amazement, Jessie jumped at the chance to ride the pony. Before she had always resisted pony rides, but as she climbed on the pony’s back she yelled over her shoulder that she was now six years old and no longer afraid of ponies. She loved it so much that I could hardly get her off of the poor pony. The only reason that she did get off was because a horse and cart had arrived, which was also providing rides. She and Gracie clamored aboard the cart and took off for a 15 minute ride. Both I and Gracie’s mom were quite astonished, since they went on the ride without either parent and didn’t hesitate a bit.After the pony experience, we also got to meet ‘Marguerite,’ the resort’s mascot, a three year old bull that pulls a drag that sweeps the beach every morning. When we ‘met’ Marguerite, it explained why Jessie and Gracie were presented with a small stuffed cow with the name Marguerite embroidered on it when we had checked. (I found out later when chatting with the resort manager that he had fully intended to get a cow rather than a bull, but had traveled 100 kilometers to pick up the animal and couldn’t disappoint his staff who had arranged for Marguerite’s purchase. And that is how a three year old bull named Marguerite became the resort’s mascot.) Now as you can imagine, Marguerite is really very tame and even allowed humans, including children, to ride on her back. But, neither Jessie nor Gracie were willing to jump on top of this huge animal and so neither one got to ride Marguerite.
A bit later in the day, Grandma Patsy took Jessie for a long walk on the beach and they came back with a large collection of beautiful sea shells. Jessie was really excited and carefully cleaned and sorted the shells.
In the late afternoon, all of the girls in the group went to Phan Thiet for an extravaganza hair and nails experience - manicures, pedicures, facial massages, etc. Even Jessie and Gracie got to go along and join in the fun. They all returned with glorious looking nails. While all of this was going on, I got to spend my first bit of quality time with Alyssa. She is a very easy baby to care for and a joy to be around. She coos and cackles and spends a lot of time looking around with a big smile on her face.
That evening to celebrate Vietnamese Independence Day, the resort put on a huge seafood BBQ. About every kind of fresh seafood - lobster, rock lobster, king prawn, blue crabs, etc - was available to be freshly grilled on large flaming grills. That in addition to a giant buffet of more seafood delicacies made for a wonderful evening and a fantastic way to end our first full day with Alyssa. Even a sudden rain storm couldn’t spoil the evening. When the rain started, we all jumped from our tables, grabbed whatever we could and ran for cover. The waiters picked up entire tables and quickly moved them to dry locations. After about five minutes of chaotic re-positioning, all was back to normal and the celebrating continued.
And to top it off, Alyssa had another super sleep night. She dozed off around 10 PM and didn’t wake up until 4 AM for a short time and then slept until 8 AM. We were beginning to think that this was too good to be true, having a beautiful baby who would sleep all through the night or at least for very long periods in the night.
We slept in on Friday morning and went to breakfast around 9:30 AM. As we got off the elevator, we were greeted with shouts of joy, “The G&R is today at 3:00 PM.” At last, the People’s Committee had given its approval and Thao, quite possibly with Mrs Hai’s assistance, had worked magic with the Justice Department so that the G&R could still be scheduled on Friday. Not only had Thao been able to get the G&R set up, but she also convinced the local passport office to stay open past its holiday closing time so we could process the babies’ passport requests, which would greatly cut down the number of days we would have to remain in Vietnam.
Obviously, we were all thrilled at this new development and enjoyed breakfast that morning immensley. Thao had dispatched the minivan to pick up the babies and caregivers from the orphanage and they were due to arrive at the hotel at noon. We spent the remainder of the morning getting ready, making sure we had all the necessary items to care for Alyssa.
Promptly at noon, the van arrived at the hotel and Alyssa and her caregiver got our. It was wonderful to realize that she would soon be ours forever and that we wouldn’t have to say goodby to her at the orphanage, even if it were only for a couple more days. Alyssa and her caregiver, Nyat, came up to the room, where we were able to spend a few minutes together before Alyssa had to go with Nyat to have her passport photos taken. They returned in about an hour and then relaxed with us in the hotel room until it was time for the G&R.
The G&R was held in the local Department of Justice building, just a five minute drive from the hotel. We all climbed into the minivan, very excited to be taking this big step. The ceremony was held in an official looking room (see the picture below), but it didn’t last very long. An official from the Justice Department spoke for just a few minutes, explaining to the adoptive parents what a great responsibility they were taking on, asking them to always remind their children that they were born in Vietnam and requesting that the children be given every opportunity to learn about Vietnam and the culture of the country of their birth. Then, the parents signed a document and the ceremony was completed.
We waited in the ceremony room for 45 minutes while more documents were prepared and then hustled to the Security Department to apply for the babies’ Vietnamese passports. The office, with Thao’s urging, had stayed open past its holiday three o’clock closing time just for us and it was now close to four so we were pushing our luck in getting the passport applications processed before the long holiday. The Security Department was only a few minutes drive and was still open when we got there. After another 30 minute wait during which we signed more documents, the passport applications were complete and we were able to return to the hotel.
We took Alyssa to our room, laid her in the bed and had a wonderful time playing with her, knowing that she was now officially part of our family. Although the orphanage director had given us Alyssa’s feeding and sleep schedule, we weren’t quite sure what to expect on that first night. Everything would be so strange for Alyssa — new surroundings, different sounds and voices, a new bed, an air conditioned room, no other babies crying — that we were sure it would be hard for her to sleep. We couldn’t have been more wrong. She took some bottle around 10 PM and slept soundly until around 5 AM when she drank a little more bottle and went back to sleep for a few more hours. We certainly hoped that every night would be like, but we can only wait and see.
We slept in on Friday morning and went to breakfast around 9:30 AM. As we got off the elevator, we were greeted with shouts of joy, “The G&R is today at 3:00 PM.” At last, the People’s Committee had given its approval and Thao, quite possibly with Mrs Hai’s assistance, had worked magic with the Justice Department so that the G&R could still be scheduled on Friday. Not only had Thao been able to get the G&R set up, but she also convinced the local passport office to stay open past its holiday closing time so we could process the babies’ passport requests, which would greatly cut down the number of days we would have to remain in Vietnam.
Obviously, we were all thrilled at this new development and enjoyed breakfast that morning immensley. Thao had dispatched the minivan to pick up the babies and caregivers from the orphanage and they were due to arrive at the hotel at noon. We spent the remainder of the morning getting ready, making sure we had all the necessary items to care for Alyssa.
Promptly at noon, the van arrived at the hotel and Alyssa and her caregiver got our. It was wonderful to realize that she would soon be ours forever and that we wouldn’t have to say goodby to her at the orphanage, even if it were only for a couple more days. Alyssa and her caregiver, Nyat, came up to the room, where we were able to spend a few minutes together before Alyssa had to go with Nyat to have her passport photos taken. They returned in about an hour and then relaxed with us in the hotel room until it was time for the G&R.
The G&R was held in the local Department of Justice building, just a five minute drive from the hotel. We all climbed into the minivan, very excited to be taking this big step. The ceremony was held in an official looking room (see the picture below), but it didn’t last very long. An official from the Justice Department spoke for just a few minutes, explaining to the adoptive parents what a great responsibility they were taking on, asking them to always remind their children that they were born in Vietnam and requesting that the children be given every opportunity to learn about Vietnam and the culture of the country of their birth. Then, the parents signed a document and the ceremony was completed.
We waited in the ceremony room for 45 minutes while more documents were prepared and then hustled to the Security Department to apply for the babies’ Vietnamese passports. The office, with Thao’s urging, had stayed open past its holiday three o’clock closing time just for us and it was now close to four so we were pushing our luck in getting the passport applications processed before the long holiday. The Security Department was only a few minutes drive and was still open when we got there. After another 30 minute wait during which we signed more documents, the passport applications were complete and we were able to return to the hotel.
We took Alyssa to our room, laid her in the bed and had a wonderful time playing with her, knowing that she was now officially part of our family. Although the orphanage director had given us Alyssa’s feeding and sleep schedule, we weren’t quite sure what to expect on that first night. Everything would be so strange for Alyssa — new surroundings, different sounds and voices, a new bed, an air conditioned room, no other babies crying — that we were sure it would be hard for her to sleep. We couldn’t have been more wrong. She took some bottle around 10 PM and slept soundly until around 5 AM when she drank a little more bottle and went back to sleep for a few more hours. We certainly hoped that every night would be like, but we can only wait and see.
We decided not to go to the orphanage today. Alyssa had seemed real tired yesterday and we wanted her to have a chance to rest. The hour long ride to the orphanage was also hard on Jessie and we wanted to be able to spend some time with her.
So we got up late, had a leisurely breakfast and relaxed around the hotel as a family. Jessie and I played in the resort’s playground, made a castle with Legos and just had a fun time being together.
The rest of the group that went to the orphanage returned earlier than on the previous days. They had a good time at the orphanage, but mostly because the older kids from the orphanage had joined them in the baby room. The grandmothers who were on the trip were especially taken by the older kids at the orphanage and they were excited to tell us about their exchanges with the older children.
That evening we just hung around the hotel, hoping that we would get final confirmation that the People’s Committee had approved the G&R. But, no such word came. One a happier note, Mrs Hai, who was clearly becoming our favorite Vietnamese official, said that even if we could not schedule the G&R for Friday, September 1, she would give approval for the babies to stay with us in the hotel, providing, and this was the big caveat, that the People’s Committee had given its final OK for the G&R. Based on this info, Thao made plans for the babies to be brought from the orphanage on Friday, but the exact time was undetermined. Most of us were not optimistic that the G&R could happen on Friday, because Saturday, September 2 was Vietnamese Independence Day and most government offices would be closing early on Friday. Since the earliest that we could get the People’s Committee approval would now be Friday morning, it seemed highly unlikely that the G&R would happen tomorrow.
So, once again we went to sleep not knowing for sure when we would officially get Alyssa, but at least we had some assurance that we would be able to be with her in the hotel. Only time would tell how this was all going to play out.
Wednesday turned out to be pretty much a repeat of Tuesday. We traveled to the orphanage in the morning, played with Alyssa and waited for some encouraging words from Thao. Unfortunately, nothing positive was coming out of the People’s Committee. Mrs Hai had called the People’s Committee chair and he had approved the G&R, but the admin process was moving slowly and final approval had not been given.
That evening we all went into downtown Phan Thiet to do some shopping and sightseeing. We wanted to get some drinks and snacks to have in our rooms and pick up some last minute baby items we had forgotten to bring with us. It was a fun evening and a wonderful opportunity to see a provincial Vietnamese city. The city was bustling with people riding everywhere on motorbikes. The shopping area was filled with many small shops selling just about anything a person could want to buy.
As we returned to the hotel and Thao asked us about the next day’s plans, it was evident that everyone was becoming impatient with the process and that the frustration level was rising. Everybody was thrilled to be able to see their babies in the orphanage, but all really just wanted to have them with them in the hotel to hold them, feed them and care for them. It was clear that the seemingly endless wait was taking its toll on everyone.
Thao told us she was fairly certain that the G&R could still be held on Friday, but there was still nothing definite from the People’s Committee and that was only her best estimate on what might happen. She also said she hoped to get word of the final approval early the next day, Thursday, August 31.
We all awoke refreshed and ready to make the journey back to see Alyssa at the orphanage. The question on everyone’s mind was when would we be able to have the Giving & Receiving (G&R) Ceremony, which would officially complete the adoption and allow us bring our babies back to the hotel to be with us.
Just a quick note to help all understand. After the G&R, we need to get a Vietnamese passport for Alyssa, process her US immigrant visa with the US authorities and also work with the Turkish embassy to obtain an visa for her to return to Turkey with us. But, the G&R signifies the completion of the adoption and after the G&R, Alyssa is officially our daughter under international law and will be with us from that day.
Thao explained the process that was unfolding and her best estimate of when the G&R could happen. Based on her explanation, it seemed that the G&R was many days away, perhaps up to a week. We all started trying to figure out a way to get the babies earlier, knowing that our fate was clearly in the hands of Vietnamese government officials. Thao helped us understand each obstacle that had to be negotiated and then suggested we meet with the person responsible for orphanages in the province, Mrs Hai. We brainstormed how best to get Mrs Hai on our side and how to ask her to help us get our babies sooner rather than later.
We met Mrs Hai at the orphanage and much to our surprise she was very understanding and said she would do everything possible to help us get our babies quickly. We found out later that Mrs Hai, who was 53 years old, had an adopted son who was three, which explains why she was so sympathetic to our pleas to get our babies as soon as we could.
The second day at the orphanage was different from the first. We were already feeling much more familiar with Alyssa and that caused us to want her to be with us even more. There wasn’t much to do at the orphanage, but hold Alyssa. Since there was no place to sit down, we all just sat on the tile floor and took turns holding and playing with Alyssa. After about an hour, it was evident that she was getting tired and her caregiver put her in her crib, where she promptly fell asleep.
Then we all got back in the van to make the hour long journey back to the hotel. All day long Thao had been giving us updates on when the G&R might be held and the hurdles that stood in our way. It boiled down to getting approval from the provincial People’s Committee. Mrs Hai had made several phone calls on our behalf, which had opened the way for the Justice Department to be ready to conduct the G&R at a moment’s notice, once the People’s Committee gave its approval. Thao told us that the People’s Committee chairman had signed the approval papers, but that the approval still had to pass over several more administrator’s desks and that it was uncertain when that might happen.
So, we arrived back at the hotel, pleased that Mrs Hai was helping us, but frustrated because it wasn’t clear how long the People’s Committe might hold up the process.
After several hours in the orphanage, we all realized that the afternoon had slipped quickly by and that we needed to say goodby to our new family members and make our way to the hotel. Darkness came quickly during the hour long ride to the Novotel Ocean Dunes and Gulf Resort in Phan Thiet, which would be our home for the coming days. At the hotel, we were warmly greeted by the staff and got settled into our rooms in just a few minutes.
Now it was time for another kind of celebration — Jessie’s birthday. We had already planned to have a larger ‘official’ party once we returned to Ankara, but also wanted to recognize Jessie’s special day. So, we had a small family party in our room. Jessie opened several presents with great delight while Nancy, Grandma Patsy and I looked on. Her favorite was her own digital camera, which she had been wanting for a long time.
At dinner we joined all of the other families and much to our surprise at the end of the dinner, the hotel staff produced a beautiful birthday cake for Jessie. (As I said in an earlier post, Thao was super and I assume she was responsible for getting this cake for Jessie.) So, Jessie got to celebrate her birthday twice in one night. After that it was off to bed after a very long, emotionally filled day — one that we all will remember forever.
After several hours in the orphanage, we all realized that the afternoon had slipped quickly by and that we needed to say goodby to our new family members and make our way to the hotel. Darkness came quickly during the hour long ride to the Novotel Ocean Dunes and Gulf Resort in Phan Thiet, which would be our home for the coming days. At the hotel, we were warmly greeted by the staff and got settled into our rooms in just a few minutes.
Now it was time for another kind of celebration — Jessie’s birthday. We had already planned to have a larger ‘official’ party once we returned to Ankara, but also wanted to recognize Jessie’s special day. So, we had a small family party in our room. Jessie opened several presents with great delight while Nancy, Grandma Patsy and I looked on. Her favorite was her own digital camera, which she had been wanting for a long time.
At dinner we joined all of the other families and much to our surprise at the end of the dinner, the hotel staff produced a beautiful birthday cake for Jessie. (As I said in an earlier post, Thao was super and I assume she was responsible for getting this cake for Jessie.) So, Jessie got to celebrate her birthday twice in one night. After that it was off to bed after a very long, emotionally filled day — one that we all will remember forever.